Radar Avenue

Trying to get the attention of the woman of your dreams can be difficult and men will go to extremes in order to gain her fancy. Some spend grueling hours at the gym 7 days a week, thinking that their bulging biceps will do the trick. Others expel Benjamins on fine wines and expensive restaurants attempting to woo the object of their affection into submission (not 50 Shades of Gray submission, just submission). Still, there are those with the cash flow to buy cars whose price-tag could feed a small country and think that women will melt at the mere sight of the manifestation of their enormous egos.  As exhaustive as all this must be, true frustration would set in if all these men realized that turning on a women is as simple as turning a key on a motorcycle.

It’s not that being a muscle bulging, wealthy connoisseur isn’t sexy, it’s just boring. How many times can you go see Paris till it becomes a chore? Fancy cars are nice, but they aren’t practical. Just try sitting in a Lamborghini for an hour, I guarantee that you will be taking the first cab you see to your local chiropractor’s office. While these guys may get her attention initially, the luster wears off, and with it, so does the sex.

So, you don’t have the muscles, money or cars to get her attention off the bat and ask: How will a motorcycle help?  In this writer’s estimation, most women are REALLY interested in two key attributes men can offer them; namely security & excitement. Riding a motorcycle provides those things, and more importantly, continues providing those things….allow me to explain.

Women want to know that their mate can protect them and (some Freud for you dinning pleasure) their offspring. Having their arms around a hulking slab of meat is nice and all, but will said hulk throw-down when it really counts or will he jump off the balcony like Jamie Rohrs (just Google him)?  Well ladies, look no further than popular culture to find your answer. See, popular culture is a reflection of reality and motorcycles are time & again associated with testosterone enraged bad-asses taking names no matter who’s on the list. For example, Terminator 1 & 2 had a killing machine riding a Harley Davidson Fatboy, Top Gun had Maverick racing an F-14 on a Kawasaki GPZ 900 R, and let’s not forget Will Smith taking out a supercomputer controlling thousands of drones riding his MV Agusta F4 SPR (same bike Christian Bale rode as Bruce Wayne in the Dark Night). Even comic book heroes like Wolverine, Ghost Rider, Batman and Judge Dredd ride out to save the day.

Terminator

While these characters are all fictional, each gets the girl and it’s not by accident. So what’s the common denominator…you guessed it, the motorcycles. Image is an unbelievably important factor in attracting a mate. Looks, brains, money, power or cars will NEVER be able to compete with the right impression.  By pulling up on, I don’t know, a black Kawasaki ZX 14R most of the work is already done for you. You are the motorcycle riding alpha-male that society has told her she has been waiting for. This is appealing because women perceive males riding these magnificent chromed and stickered machines as certified tough guys who will stand their ground when things go south. This is the same reason doctors, lawyers, dentists and other office-oriented professionals buy cruisers and trailer them into Daytona. They are trying to live out the fantasy and prove to the females in their lives that they are not as boring as a waiting room.

Kawasaki ZX-14R

So now that she feels the security of being held in the grasp of a fearless ass-kicker, you need to provide the excitement that will keep the fires burning. This is where the ever present sense of excitement every time you fire up that V-Twin (or inline-4 for my Street Bike crowd) comes in. Why is this important? Well, contrary to popular opinion, getting married isn’t the fastest way to end your sex life, however, making things routine is. While there is an element of danger to these machines (read my previous article for reference) that isn’t necessarily a bad thing. You need a little danger in your life…it’s good for you and keeps things fresh. Most women won’t come right out and say it, but they enjoy a good adrenaline rush just as much as the next guy. That heart-pumping hormone secreted by the adrenal gland makes you feel alive and gets those pheromones going. This is important because if you don’t occasionally excrete some pheromones, she will find someone who will.

The simple fact is women follow instincts in choosing their mates, instincts that are driven by chemistry, perception and culture. Pulling up on a chromed-out Honda Sabre will go further to filling her criteria then any words, wines or flowing locks of hair could ever hope to. Ordinary men are transformed into Greek gods the minute they title their socially-branded bad boy chariots.

Now that I have summarized your entire relationship from inception to fruition, let’s get real for a minute…is there more involved in closing the deal with her than having a motorcycle? Sure, women are complex creatures, but you need to be on her radar to even have a chance. That is where a supersport or cruiser will take you, to Radar Avenue; next to muscle boy, Trump Wannabe and Brad Pittish. It’s also the gift that keeps on giving, long after you were just a blimp on her radar.